Ooooh baby, baby, it's a wild world

International terrorist

Yusuf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens and author of such hits as 'Peace Train', 'The First Cut is the Deepest' and 'A is for Allah', was denied entry to the United States yesterday because he was on not one, but a number of border protection watch lists.

Reportedly, his Washington-to-London flight was re-routed to Bangor, Maine - where, presumably, if he had been a terrorist, would only have been able to blow up some lobsters and Angela Lansbury - and was detained for questioning.

And fucking right too. Jesus, that hippie fucker deserves the full Gitmo-Abu-Ghraib-plunger-handle-up-the-ass treatment just for writing the drippy-as-shit 'Morning Has Broken', which I was forced to sing in Grade 5 choir:

'Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word'

And while we're at it, let's go get Peter, Paul and Mary and their dastardly Puff-the-Magic-Dragon folk-terrorism. I'm sure they're probably holed up in some Hamburg bedsit with the Chieftains and the Kingston Trio cooking up gallons of nitro-glycerine out of fertiliser and liquorice allsorts and planning some Hoboken shopping-mall massacre.

I mean, Hell, what are the lyrics of 'Leaving on a Jet Plane', but a secret, coded incitement to smash hijacked planes into buildings?

'All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here outside the door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn',
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn,
Already, I'm so lonesome I could die.'

Look! Death! Right there in the last line! The folkies are behind it all! Every time you buy a folk album, you're financing terror! Just like when every time you buy a DVD in Chinatown or download Adobe DVD-authoring software on Kazaa you're helping Osama!